Q : My husband, who had an extramarital affair with another woman in the past, shows his sexual desire within less than every 3 days. Does it mean that he has an abnormal sexual desire? How do you distinguish that a man who has nothing to do with infidelity has sexual dysfunction from that a man who has an experience of infidelity has an abnormal sexual desire? Does my husband need more healing therapy? 

A : People talk about men's sexual desires a lot, but whether how big or small their sexual desires are is not an important matter. They have sex if they have someone to have sex with, and they don't if there are not. Also, an abnormal sexual desire is a term that is used not to men but to women. It talks about ups and downs in sexual desires like when they have a very strong sexual desire due to trauma or when their strong sexual desire disappears due to a specific incident. 

Basically, men have excessive sexual desires, which is why they just have sex when they have someone to have sex with if they have psychological disorders. If they have an extramarital relationship with another woman, that woman is just an object to release his sexual desires. If he does not meet her, he tries whatever to relieve his sexual desire.  

Therefore, abnormal sexual desire or excessive sexual desire are terms that are not supposed to be applied to the husband's infidelity. A husband's sexual desire is at work towards women other than his wife. Well, of course, it happens only in his thoughts. He is not like that from the beginning, but, after a certain period of having marital life, he considers his wife and children as if they are himself resulting in that his sexual desire does not appear toward the wife. The problem of your husband's infidelity has nothing to do with sex.  

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