Q : My wife has had an extramarital affair with another man for about 5 years; I found it out accidentally. She is saying she's sorry and asks for forgiveness. She said she feels unburdened and promises that she will do her best to recover our relationship. Should I just leave her like that? or Should I get treatment first? My wife says she's also willing to get treatment too.

A : Well, first of all, the wife has attention addiction, which is a psychological disorder. She promises you that she won't cheat on you anymore because her infidelity got caught, but you must consider how much attention you can give to your wife. You might be fine now, but as time passes, every single thing about your wife will be related to her infidelity, making it impossible for you to endure. If you cannot handle this situation, your wife's attention addiction will occur again because she won't receive enough attention from you. If she is willing to get treatment, of course, you two need to get treatment. Then, your relationship will be recovered very quickly.

https://youtu.be/rvlkc7SzXgY

Infidelity is not the right thing to do, but humans make mistakes and do the wrong things. Those with relationship addiction never wanted to have it and never knew that they would cheat on their spouses; one day, they would be shocked at themselves. If they realize that they've done the wrong things, all they need is a will to get punished for what they have done and to think that they want to recover. Then, making actions for the will is the effort. With the will, making efforts and trying best for recovery is to live a happy life.

If you and your wife get the treatment together, you can live happily again. The wife's infidelity can remain as just a memory; this is the effect of the treatment.