Q. Why should I be in this much pain due to trauma caused by my spouse's infidelity?

A. You are in pain and agony when you found out your spouse's infidelity because you want to recover from it. Those who do not want to recover are not in pain because they simply need to remove the cause if they feel like they are going to be in pain. 

The fastest way to remove the cause is divorce, but wounds still exist. So, hasty divorce will only result in wounds that you cannot deal with by yourself. So, you end up living unable to make the right choices for your happiness. If you are suffering in pain and from a difficult time, it is because of your desire to recover yourself. 

https://youtu.be/UQ0D1OC60wY

In this case, I strongly suggest getting help, making yourself recovered, and then making a decision on how to deal with your spouse's infidelity. I mostly suggest either Psychotherapy Tour or Online Treatment Training because there is no treatment method other than these two. 

People try hard to recover themselves, but this effort can easily lead to a crisis, amplify pain and hardship, or even be more collapsed. It is important to consider the opposite effects that could come when treatment is not done. 

The woman who is in inappropriate relationship with your husband was not that kind of woman in the beginning. She had gone through the situation you are facing now but became as she is now because of men she met while trying to change her pain into pleasure. The warmth of a man's words like 'you must be in pain' makes her give everything to the man. The woman you loathe the most might be your future if you are not treated.