Q. I was in such pain due to my girl friend's infidelity and I decided to take KIP treatment program. As I was told, I feel better little by little and I can control myself better these days. The level of pain has subsided and the attack comes less often. My girlfriend is also considering taking the treatment. We are engaged to marry but I feel that I want to leave her as I feel better and better. Am I avoiding the situation or aggravating my condition? Of course, I plan to continue with the treatment. I feel that I am providing some kind of service even when my girlfriend takes the treatment program. I would not leave her if we were already married, but I ask myself whether I have to go through this much for her even before I get married.
A. It is your girlfriend's responsibility to treat her own condition through her own determination and effort. As you restore psychological stability in the process of treatment, most people feel comfortable and wish to avoid the nature of the stress in spite of yourself.
Many people feel the desire to get a divorce and have a hard time generating positive emotions toward the spouse in infidelity. As your emotions go up and down, you also experience the middle point with comfort, in which you feel that you don't want to bother to save the relationship. It is a common phenomena that appear in the process of treatment and it does not indicate that your condition is being aggravated. It is recommended that you stay in the relationship until you recover completely instead of leaving her now and focus on your treatment.
Your girlfriend may decide to treat her relationship addiction and build happiness ability. Then, she will reflect on her behaviors in the right perspective and understand what you have been through due to her infidelity. She will also treat her wounds from all her past life and stabilize her psychology. Each of you can focus on your own treatment and both of you will see whether it is better to stay together or break up for future happiness after complete cure.
About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)
