Q. My ex-wife and I got a divorce due to wife infidelity a year ago, but she keeps visiting me. She says she wants to live with children but I cannot accept her. What should I do?

A. It is a lucky situation that your ex-wife has not abandoned children and keeps coming to see them. Of course, you must be going through pain and difficulty while you are raising children on your own after divorce, but mother showing attention to children must have a positive influence on children. 

It is absolutely understandable that you are confused about the current situation and what to do about it. To be able to address the issue in the right way, it must be first noted that you have the condition of post traumatic stress, and the treatment of your condition must precede any other actions to be able to make a right judgment and decision for yourself and your children. Then, you will also give your ex-wife an opportunity to treat herself. When time comes, you will suggest that your ex-wife treat her psychological condition in order to restore family relationship.

Above all, it is impossible to restore family relationship and marriage relationship unless you treat post traumatic stress first. You and your ex-wife may decide to stay divorced after treatment, but then, you will be able to have a good relationship with children and build happiness separately with healthy psychology and happiness ability. Without proper treatment, both of you will keep aggravating your conditions and influence you children negatively no matter what practical measures you take. 

About KIP(Korea Institute of Psycho-education)